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Writer's picturestew mcauley

Check Those Expectations

For many, the feeling of wanting control over circumstances and outcomes is simply wired into our DNA. You may be a gentle, passive personality or a dominant, take-charge type; either way, from the time you first had an opinion, you identify with certain expectations and wanting to control your destiny. Well then, how do we react when life falls short of expectations? Isn’t this journey intended to be full of “what if’s” and “what could be’s”? Of course it is. Listen, it wouldn’t be a walk of faith if everything were guaranteed to go as we plan it. And because a fulfilling life involves others who we interact with personally and professionally, there will usually be a clash of opinions. You’ll need to pick and choose your battles; the essentials vs. non-essentials. Somethings are better left to compromise, because at the end of the day, those non-essential issues won’t change the outcome of the big picture. On the other hand, sometimes you find yourself defending a basic belief, a core value; you dig your heels in and want to take a stand. Sometimes, it’s personal and the hurt can be deep; like the conflict of woman and man at odds with each other.


Some years ago, a relation and marriage expert described it this way: men and women are wired differently, much like playing the same recording in your head except men hear one thing, women another. Same event, different response. It’s as if there are two different owner’s manuals; she oftentimes complex, at times mysterious, able to tap into an emotional side, while he comes across as candid, prone to expediting a result, frequently at the expense of feelings along the way. Seeing life through a lens that’s blue or pink; not wrong, just different.


This leads into another character quality; attitude. I mean you could argue it, but I think the most significant decision I can make each day is my choice of attitude. When you think about it, it’s more important than your past, your education, your finances, your failures, your circumstances or what others think about you. Attitude is what connects you to keeping you going or stops you. It fuels your fire. When my attitude is positive, there’s no challenge too great or goal too extreme.


As believers, for as long as we breathe, we remain agents on assignment – a sort of secret mission – and until our Creator calls us up to the Home office , we have been given the ability to have an opinion and make decisions. There was never any promise that we would avoid difficulty, failure, or an alternate outcome. The trap we get caught in is that we simply don’t have the kind of control and power we would like. We make a random choice here or an immediate reaction there but in the bigger picture we are at the mercy of forces we barely comprehend. We prepare for an event or a big-ticket purchase or marry the perfect spouse but there are some mighty big assumptions that all of this will go according to plan. The unfortunate truth is that when our expectations are not aligned with God’s plan, when we are not faithfully seeking His will, we will continue to be disappointed or discouraged or emotionally hurt because we pursue an outcome of our own limited scope and abilities. For you see, as believers, the power of The Holy Spirit changes all that when you give a situation back to our Heavenly Father and “… the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.” And that’s a win-win situation.


Three-minute exposure; a snapshot of life’s imperfect harmony,” by Stew McAuley.

Encouraging your Christian Worldview.


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