For many, the feeling of wanting control over circumstances and outcomes is simply wired into our DNA. You may be a gentle, passive personality or a dominant, take-charge type; either way, from the time you first had an opinion, you identify with certain expectations and want to control your destiny.
Well then, how do we react when life falls short of expectations; isn't this journey intended to be full of "what if's" and "what could be's"? Of course it is. Listen, it wouldn't be a walk of faith if everything were guaranteed to go as we plan it. And because a fulfilling life involves others we interact with personally and professionally, there will usually be a clash of opinions.
What About Compromise?
You'll need to pick and choose your battles, the essentials vs. non-essentials. Some things are better left to compromise because, at the end of the day, those non-essential issues won't change the outcome of the big picture. On the other hand, sometimes you find yourself defending a basic belief, a core value; you dig your heels in and want to take a stand. A relationship and marriage expert described it some years ago:
"You may very well be wired differently, much like playing the same recording in your head, except one hears or sees things one way, the spouse another. Same event, different response. Doing life through different lenses is not wrong; it is just different."
Attitude
This leads into another character quality; attitude. I mean, you could argue it, but I think the most significant decision you can make each day is your choice of attitude.
When you think about it, it's more important than your past, education, finances, failures, circumstances, or what others think about you. Attitude is what connects you, keeps you going, or stops you. It fuels your fire. When your attitude is positive, there's no challenge too great or goal too extreme.
As believers, for as long as we breathe, we remain agents on assignment – a sort of secret mission – and until our Creator calls us up to the Home office, we have been given the ability to have an opinion and make decisions. There was no promise that we would avoid difficulty, failure, or an alternate outcome. The trap we get caught in is that we simply don't have the kind of control and power we would like. We make a random choice here or an immediate reaction there, but in the bigger picture, we are at the mercy of forces we barely comprehend. We prepare for an event or a big-ticket purchase or marry the perfect spouse but there are some mighty big assumptions that all of this will go according to plan.
There is a Plan
The unfortunate truth is that when our expectations are not aligned with God's plan, or we do not faithfully seek His will, we will continue to be disappointed, discouraged, or emotionally hurt because we pursue an outcome of our limited scope and abilities. For you see, as believers, the power of The Holy Spirit changes all that when you give a situation back to our Heavenly Father;
"...And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil 4:7).
In the big picture, understanding that not every battle we endure rises to the level of an essential of the faith goes a long way toward being an effective agent for Jesus. And that's a win-win situation.
“Three-minute exposure; a snapshot of life’s imperfect harmony,” by Stew McAuley.
Encouraging your Christian Worldview.